Tuesday, January 20, 2009

How Obama Will Handle the Mexican Crisis

With the recent announcement by CBS News about how crime and gang violence in Mexico has gotten out of control and is the biggest threat to the United States, all eyes are on his majesty to see what he's planning on doing to protect us. Well, given his previous track record, here's my prediction on what his plan will be:

1) Blame the Republicans. "Yes, it's the Republicans' fault for the crime in Mexico. They were so busy capturing Sadaam Hussein (man, I love that man's name) they didn't even pay attention to what was happening in Mexico. Bad, bad Republicans!"

2) Ignore the problem as long as possible. "Crime? What crime? Yes, I know we haven't heard from any of the Texas towns near the border in weeks, but that's just a sign of the booming growth they've experienced lately! Um, by the way, has anyone heard from Houston lately?"

3) Raise taxes. "We need money to build a picket fence along the border so the nice Mexican crime lords can see where to stop their evil ways. Here, I'll smile for the camera and that should stop them. I'm too pretty to fight."

4) Work on his 2012 re-election campaign. "As you can see, this is a problem that can't be fixed in 4 years. I'll need at least 8 to do it right. As a matter of fact, let's just make it 12 and see what I can really do!"

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