Saturday, May 2, 2009
Solving the GM Crisis
As you may have just suddenly realized, the government now owns the banks and the U.S. auto industry. What I love to watch is how the people who are losing their jobs thanks to GM's financial problems absolutely refuse to put any blame on the man they elected as president to begin with.
That being said, I have the answer and obama is welcome to use this and take full credit for it (he hasn't had a single original idea since taking office, so why should this be any different?). Take any GM vehicle (like the Camaro, for example) and rename it "The Obamobile". Raise the price 40% and put it on the market. Those same mindless idiots who breathlessly lap up everything he says will sell everything they own to buy one simply because it has his name in it. That giant spike in auto sales (and I promise you, it WOULD happen because those people are just that stupid) would allow GM to recover and move on.
After that, slap his name on anything and watch the drones flock to it. Farmers in need of money? Start selling "Barack-corn" and watch that become the nation's favorite dish. Sprint could come out with the "Special Edition Obamaphone" and watch the iPhone become old news.
You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. This would work because the American public that elected him has gladly turned their thinking over to a man who has, in his first 100 days, put our nation in greater debt than the past 43 Presidents combined. No matter what obviously stupid sentence comes out of his mouth, they act as if it were a pearl of wisdom. So I say, just use that ignorance to your advantage. Save the U.S. by selling our inferior products at inflated prices to the ignorant masses.